|
18 Manning
Road
Double Bay NSW 2028
p: (02) 9362 5666
m:
0415 218 777
|
the royal treatment
10aug03
The idea of having water pumped into her nether regions made Joanna Bounds more than nervous, but now she's a colonic irrigation convert.
When I think of colonic irrigation, the late Princess Di comes to mind. She used to have it once a month, apparently. And, though the thought of having a tube inserted up my bum followed by 10 litres of water isn't my idea of a fun afternoon, I'm interested to find out what it's like to be on the end - literally - of a royal treatment.
Robyn Spillane, a naturopath based in Sydney's Double Bay, advises me to follow a bowel cleansing diet for a few days before my bottom wash. No white pasta, bread or rice. No coffee, tea, chocolate, alcohol. Plenty of water though - two litres a day - and ginger tea and aloe vera juice after dinner. And as much salmon, tuna, lamb, tofu and brown rice as one woman can eat in four days.
I arrive at Double Bay white-carb free and gingered-up. My bottom tightens as I enter the doorway of the colon clinic. I'm more than a little nervous. Let's face it, I'm plain scared. Spillane starts by reassuring me, even before I ask the questions, that the answer to all colonic virgins' worries (is it embarrassing? will it hurt? will anything leak out) is no on all three counts. Phew. So instead I ask her why, exactly, colonic irrigation is good for you.
"Everything we do, and everything around us, contains toxins," says Spillane. "There's pesticides in your food, chlorine in the water. The constant bombardment overloads you, and colonic irrigation helps flush the toxins out and rejuvenate your body. If it's not flushed out, it just ends up back in your bloodstream."
Spillane goes on to tell me that after their second or third colonic, patients walk out of her clinic feeling full of energy, glowing and, even better I hear you cry, weighing less. And, she says, studies have shown that it can help in the prevention of bowel cancer and boost your immune system. All very good reasons to have a tube stuck up my bum.
First, though, Spillane says that she's going to read my iris to see where my, er, blockages are. She looks into my eye and tells me that my descending colon has a blockage. Not good. I also have an underactive digestive system, respiratory system problems and drink too much wine. Busted. In fact, she tells me, she can tell if her patients drink cheap or expensive champagne just by looking at what exits their anus. Wonder if she can tell the difference between Toohey's New and VB?
in the end
But enough delaying - it's time to get undressed. I take my bottom half off, climb on the bed and, with a small pink towel covering my modesty, turn on my side as Spillane smears some KY Jelly on my rear end. Then, before I even have time to let out a small cry, she inserts a catheter with a tube attached to it a few centimetres up my bum. The tube, in turn, is attached to a sinister-looking wall-mounted machine with a see-though panel enclosing the mechanics. Then she turns on the tap.
I prepare for the River Ganges to open its floodgates and flow past my sphincter muscle. I wait, and feel, well, nothing really (apart from feeling the need to go to the toilet), even though the water is flowing at a rate of three litres a minute into my intestine.
In attempt to loosen it, Spillane massages the area of my stomach where she thinks the poo is stuck. Nothing budges at first, then a few bits and pieces make their exit, then, after about 10 minutes, it's emptying time. She turns the tap again and the water gushes out of my bum and through the tube, wending its way to the great bedpan in the sky.
sit and rest a minute
And then we're off again. I'm pumped and emptied two more times and, as she massages my belly on the final attempt, I feel that stuck poo, finally, come loose. I stare at the tube in fascination as it flows past. It's a bit like Big Brother really - fascinating to watch but leaves you feeling empty. Then my bottom is emptied for the last time, the catheter pops out and I'm free to go. Hurrah.
I'm cleansed.
As I get dressed, I realise Spillane is right, I do feel lighter and, when I look in the mirror, my face is glowing. In fact, I feel great. But what I've find most amazing is Spillane's ability to locate a lump of old waste by looking at my iris. I'll never be able to look anyone in the eye again.
bottoms up
? Robyn Spillane's clinic is at 1/8 Manning Road, Double Bay, Sydney. Call (02) 9362 5666 or see www.optimumhealth.net.au
? Colonic irrigation costs $80 and takes around an hour. Spillane advises coming in for an initial consultation before jumping straight into the bottom bit.
? No, it doesn't hurt, it's not embarrassing, and nothing leaks out. There's not even a nasty smell.
? Spillane says she won't perform colonic irrigation on anyone who is under 18 or pregnant. |
Home | Naturopath Sydney | Colonics Sydney | Fertility Naturally
Iridology Sydney | Digital Thermal Imaging | Other Methods of Diagnosis | Purchase Product
Product Information | Resources | How to find us | Price List
Make an appointment | Enquiry | Newsletter | Staff Log In
Telephone: (02) 9362 5666 | Mobile: 0415 218 777
Email: robynspillane@optimumhealth.net.au
Web design Australia by Acclipse | Copyright © Optimum Health |
